To love and to be loved

Never being loved or being able to love again
is my greatest fear at this time

I had found my love
Not once but twice

I do not think I can love again
or have someone that can love
this damaged being
this broken life

It is too difficult to give myself away another time
to hold one so dear that I will do anything for her
I have mijudged and been misguided in my words and deeds
I do not trust myself to be able to make a judgement
on whom I should love.

I have always been afraid of this
and now I am completely lost
with no faith in myself or the woman who may come into my life

How long to rekindle my ability to love and be loved?
I hope only time will tell
but until that moment I remain in a living hell.

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